honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I deserve this hangover.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
