i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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