She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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