she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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