we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
