I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
