Sry I called you an 8
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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