This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Come see our sink grown plant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
