Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
