After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
