she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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