That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
