Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
