I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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