I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
