I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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