I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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