hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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