90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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