I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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