i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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