Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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