Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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