Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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