You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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