It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
