Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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