So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
