Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
