Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
