scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
