i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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