I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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