ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
