he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
