What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
