remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize