barbara walters just said penis...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
