there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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