none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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