Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wear drunk well.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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