Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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