I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
