i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
