i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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