I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Quick, to the slutcave!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize