I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
