I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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