i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
