Life is so much better after having sex.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
