She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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