i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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