You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
