I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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