I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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