i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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