omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
