That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
