Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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