Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
