i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
