i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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