can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
